A moment in our arms... Forever in our hearts...
Our son, Nathan Charles Pavalko, was born on November 3, 1997. He was delivered three weeks
early by cesarean because of some minor complications. He weighed only two pounds and five
ounces. We got a quick peek at him before he was whisked away for emergency medical
procedures.
The next time we saw our baby, he was in the neonatal intensive care unit under a heating lamp.
He had wires and tubes all over his tiny body. We will never forget his doctor’s face or voice
as she named all the physical problems that our newborn had, finishing by saying that these were
signs of a more serious problem.
The next day, the neonatologists determined that the problem was chromosomal and that his condition
was “…incompatible with life.” Those words will ring through our ears for the rest of our lives.
The doctors didn’t expect Nathan to live very long, so we quickly had him baptized into our faith.
But Nathan lived another day, and another, and another. We learned to take care of him and slowly
took him off the tubes and wires – first the oxygen, then the IV, then the monitors, one by one.
We literally moved into the hospital to be with our baby day and night. After 23 days we brought
our son home in time for Thanksgiving.
We held him constantly, not wanting to let go of him. We slept with him on our chests to keep
him warm at night and fed him through a tube when he fussed. We had to alter his clothing to
make it small enough for him. We had to order special diapers for him to wear. It was all so
bittersweet. Because we knew that he was going to die, we spent every moment with him. We put
the Christmas tree up for him in his room so that we could watch the lights together before we
fell asleep. All we could pray for was that Nathan wouldn’t suffer, wouldn’t be afraid, and that
he would die in our arms. He did. Nathan passed away December 13, 1997.
Nathan touched so many lives in the short 40 days he was here with us. Everyone from his doctors,
nurses, and family to people we had never met before. We receive cards and letters from so many
people in the community. Our clergyman used Nathan’s story in his weekly sermons. He had preached
to teenagers and prisoners alike. Many of these people said prayers for us. Nathan truly touched
many people all over the community.
We wish to remember Nathan by touching as many families as we can, especially those finding themselves
in similar situations with their newborns. We like to believe that, though Nathan watches over
his mama and daddy, he’s also watching over all the little ones in the community that need a
little extra prayer to get them started in life.
